How today I thought I was going to die...

Sometimes I feel like I live in an alter universe... A universe where I just don't understand the rules of how things should be, like I'm missing something, like I'm the only one out of the loop.

My mom bought me a new vacuum few days ago as an early Bday gift and I have never been so excited about an appliance before (not counting the Magic Bullet [no it's not a vibrator] or the Foreman Grill, which are probably last centuries greatest inventions after the Internet).  It's one of those Kenmore canister vacuums and the top is a pretty bright orange color and it has instructions about all the parts and how to properly use it.  At first this amused me, our society has gotten so incredibly stupid to actually require an instruction manual for a vacuum cleaner, with warnings specifying not to use attachments on furniture or curtains after using it under the fridge where it's dirty because it could stain.  Seriously, common sense anyone? For a second I thought if maybe Kenmore thinks their customers are incredibly stupid and need such a warning, but quickly laughed to myself, and started to wonder about how Warning labels or instructions come about, and if some mongrel stained their furniture with a dirty attachment and then tried to sue for property damage. 



This brought me to think how people don't try to "figure out" things like they used to.  Especially true what I've seen in American culture, people are trained to do ONE thing (their degree or training or job experience) and that's pretty much the extent of what they can do for the rest of their lives.  If something breaks no one bothers to fix it themselves, unless the broken thing is under the umbrella of things they have been trained to do. 


The quality I admire most in people are their problem solving skills.  People who just try to figure stuff out.  Well not just try... people who try to solve a problem and succeed. I always seem to get along best with these types.

I've been thinking all day about what big problem have I solved.  How has my existence contributed to the humanity. Have I made any life besides my own better, or happier...

The train of thoughts today have been filled with self and society evaluation... all because for a split second this morning I actually thought I would die.

With extra time before heading over to a client's office I decided to use my new vacuum and do a little morning cleaning.  This is quite extraordinary for me, as usually the first thing I do in the morning is get on twitter, and read my RSS, and emails.  (or power up the xbox).  As I was taking the vaccuum components apart for storage, I left the part that does the vaccuming stand as I tried to get the cord to snap back in the place and then BAM the handle tipped and fell directly on my head, hitting me very hard.  First reaction.. ouch, second reaction, Jesus Christ, that could have cracked my skull open!! 
And with those few words all I could think of was my sister laying in the hospital and her skull filling up with blood, and for that split second I thought, oh my god, I'm going to die.

Although I've felt quite discomfort and a little pain in the area where my head was struck, I've tried to convince myself I was probably not going to die today.  I thought how incredibly moronic would be to die at the "hands" of a vacuum cleaner and how that's not how I should be remembered. This of course has not stopped me from looking up symptoms for concussions and any tale signs if my brain is in tact.  Believe me, I used to be a much worse hypochondriac.  I would often lay in bed and think, omg, my head hurts, my neck is stiff, I'm dying, I have meningitis!  On another rather related note, I read an article today how creativity is linked to schizophrenia.  I'm pretty sure all my exs thought I was at least BiPolar. 

As I so closely approach my 29th birthday, I started to reevaluate what I have done with my life so far and what exactly am I trying to get out of it.  This will be the first year I will be celebrating my birthday alone.  Well, not exactly alone, I've asked my closest friends to come to my moms for a small BBQ, but alone in the sense that only one twin will be present, at least in flesh.  I always thought by 29 I'd be at least married with a prospect of kids, but maybe not in this lifetime.  I've always had this sense that I was meant to do something great... and strangely ... a feeling of how something is about to happen has come over me.  Who knows what's in store for me.  All I know is I've made it thus far... without a single broken bone..... EVER! (I'm extra cautious most of the time!) Take that vacuum handle!

Also, I'm pretty sure there was no Warning in that booklet about potential life threats from handles tipping over on peoples heads.  Anyone know a good lawyer? ;) (Just kidding Kenmore.  I still <3 my vacuum, even if it did, possibly nearly killed me).